I exercise control in all things, Miss. Steele

Yesterday

Yesterday, realisation hit that so much is beyond our control.

As a 21-year old female who literally obsesses over everything that’s both right and wrong with the world, you’d think I’d have realised the restriction of our control over things in life sooner. But I didn’t, not until yesterday.

Year 5

In year 5 (or 4th grade, I found out) I became bossy and a tad controlling.

I even made myself an email address with the handle ‘bex_boots9’. That’s boots – as in bossy boots. I know, I’m cringing, too.

This is when my hunger for control started. I was 9 or 10 years old, and ready to feel the adrenaline of being on a power trip. But boy, back then I had no idea of how oblivious a person can be to their own characteristics.

Especially when they’re a control freak who, well, loves being in control.

We’re notoriously known as these obsessive-compulsive, passive-aggressive, highly-principled, sanctimonious people who have an insane fear of things spiraling out of control. Which makes sense really, because if you don’t care about what spirals out of your control then you can’t really be a control freak.

As a control freak, it’s a daily occurrence to be angry and mood-disordered with the tendency to be hypocritical, win and correct people. Does this sound like you? Because it sounds exactly like me, too.

Well, how I used to be.

The Place We Met

This book I’ve been reading recently (mostly yesterday), ‘The Place We Met’ by Isabelle Broom – has opened my eyes when it comes to my want to take command in most situations. It’s a romance novel, and completely fab and relevant if you’re into travel literature and contemporary fiction (I bought it on my Kindle for just 99p, too!)

But at one point in the book, this tall dark and handsome Italian character called Marco says, “Because everything is much more fun when you don’t know what’s gonna happen.” And this is so true.

Now that I’ve aged 11 years, learnt hell of a lot – and my email address has gone from ‘bex_boot9’ to ‘rowlandsre’, I’ve learnt that obsessing over having everything in order, from tomorrow’s lunch to a list of clothes to wear for each day whilst abroad is not just a little bit unhealthy, but kind of (absolutely) boring, too.

As most may agree, there’s no harm in being organised and dwelling on what’s going to happen in the future, after all that’s why so many people visit psychics, but we can’t control everything all of the time. 

Control is a funny thing. It can be a negative aspect of life, too, that’s if you take too much of it and allow it to eclipse your personality – which is what I let it do…

Losing It

I would unknowingly judge my boyfriend on his grammar, poking at certain things he said, failing to acknowledge that it’s his accent – which is completely different to mine – but I still did it, anyway!

I would tell my mum to change her outfit, or parts of it, because the items of clothing didn’t match, and I would let this frustrate me so much that you’d swear that it was me wearing the clothes.

If one single thing wasn’t the way I wanted it to be I’d just. Lose. My. Sh*t.

That’s the thing with wanting the upper hand in most situations, you only realise how you’ve acted once you’ve reacted, and the worst thing is, some people never even realise.

Now’s the time!

The Run Down

First, I did some digging. I Googled ‘control freak characteristics’ just for a bit of reassurance that I wasn’t letting PMS get the best of me – but then I realised I matched the ‘criteria’.

My first call to action was to substitute my obsessive/controlling behaviour for more dynamic behaviour. To do this, I first wondered whether there was anything positive I could take from my control freak experience…

Then it dawned on me. I remember reading that having the persona of a supposed ‘control freak’, apparently means that you’re a results orientated person. So wouldn’t this be a good thing to take away from something that’s perceived as so bad?

The good thing about being results orientated is that results can be seen from practically anything in life. From learning how to walk after losing a leg, using Google Analytics, going to the gym 5 times a week, being kind to people – the list is literally endless.

There was one thing I did want to see the results of, though – the results of no longer being a control freak.

Now, when I get worked up over something small, I take deep breaths, listening to some good music (especially Frank Ocean), read, go for a walk, and I try to limit my use of technology.

I try not to turn up somewhere two hours early rather than a few minutes before, and I’ve stopped judging others on what they do and always remember that everyone is different – which means that every individual does things their way. 

More importantly, I think about acting before reacting and always think carefully about what I say and how it’s going to affect the feelings of others.

Results

Now, there’s less stress over the tiny things in life that I can’t control, less obsessing over trying to always have control, and just more happiness in general.

If you come across an obsessive-compulsive, passive-aggressive, highly-principled, and sanctimonious person, tell them to read this blog post. I’d love to chat with anyone about how good it feels to not be a control freak.

All my love for control has gone, but who even loves it, anyway?

People who are a bit dark and f*cked up, I suppose. 😉

mr.grey

Rebecca x
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Breaking the norm and becoming a better version of yourself

Stop fearing failure

Failure of fear, or ‘Atychiphobia’, is amongst one of the worst feelings ever. If you think you may be prone to a fear of failure, its simple- you need to try and break the cycle. Conquering and overcoming the failure of fear is all about trying to forget how much we were told to not do this and not do that when we are younger. It’s so easy to be cautious! If you’re constantly thinking about avoiding going wrong and whether you’re doing things wrong, you may find yourself locked in the cycle of thinking that you’re incompetent and finding that you seek confirmation or permission constantly. My advice is, without failure, there’s less opportunity to focus on ensuring and shaping maximum success. Have you ever heard of anyone successful who has never failed at anything, ever in their life?

Say yes

Anybody would say that you can’t say “yes” to absolutely everything in life, but saying yes more often will help produce an optimistic outlook on life. You’ll find yourself grasping opportunities that you wouldn’t usually take, and with new opportunities come new changes…an essential for a colourful life filled to the brim with content and confidence!

Say no

If you’re reading this and you’re a people pleaser, you’re not anymore. By saying no I do not mean saying no to things for the sake of it or saying no to things you might or really want to do! I’m talking about the offers you may get from friends, family, colleagues, maybe even your boyfriend or girlfriend, which you know deep down you don’t really fancy doing, but you do it anyway just to make them happy. Plenty of glories come with satisfying those who surround you, that doesn’t mean you should forget how you might benefit from saying “no” to something unappetizing in exchange for saying “yes” to something appetizing.

Buh-bye procrastination

Procrastination- the universal state of being for those who want to do more, but always find a reason to delay actually getting it done, hits us all at one point, I swear. When I was still at university avoiding procrastination is one of the most difficult habits to maintain! But I’ll tell you what helps…making those daily to-do lists so you can keep track of what’s urgent and what’s not. Once you’ve ticked all those boxes on that little list, you’re free to do whatever you want, and how fun is that?

Buh-bye negativity

Negativity is toxic for the mind, body, and soul, and one of the hardest things ever is trying to escape resorting back to negative thoughts as a coping mechanism for the inevitable in life, like stress. Amidst some of the best things to do to combat those negative feelings are eating right, exercising, being kind to others, surrounding yourself with friends and family, and just doing more of what you want to do and what you feel is right. I also find self-help books really helpful! Take a look at these.

Breaking the norm and becoming a better version of yourself

Too many of us get stuck in the same routine and do the same things with the same attitude too much of the time. This is what gets people down. This is what we need to do less of! Forget failure, say yes, say no, avoid procrastination and negativity and you’ll break the norm, and become an EVEN better version of you.

TOP 10 TIPS FOR BEING ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Getting your ‘head in the game’ is hard

Before I came home to Swansea from being at university in Bristol, I dreaded it. For three years I devoted every single thing I had to my ‘new life’ in Bristol. I adapted to a new environment, progressed personally and professionally, and learned how to drill it into my head that it is so important every day to wake up feeling confident that you can kick ass, even if deep down you really feel like you can’t.

So here are my top 10 tips to ensure that every day of your exciting or mundane life you stay on top of the world, or at least get there eventually

Develop positive thinking

Wow, the importance of this is crazy! I feel like so much emphasis is always put on how everyone needs to be constantly happy and positive otherwise they’re a bad person or something. That’s not the case. Thinking positive changed my life because with positive thoughts comes positive attitude, positive outlook and shortly after, a positive life.

Exercise

When we exercise we release the same endorphins we release during sex, so if that’s not enough to get you to the gym then I don’t know if anything can/ Exercising reduces our perception of pain, and triggers those feelings of positivity in our bodies that all of us want to feel 24/7. These so-called happy hormones make me feel on top of the world when I feel at the bottom, so I know they’ll make you feel the same way too

Kindness

I find being kind so rewarding. You could be kind to someone and then days or weeks later be told how much of a thoughtful person you are for extending your help or advice to a friend, family member or colleague. Being told that you are a good person will reassure you that you are a good person, and this will make you extremely happy. I know it.

Eliminate the non-essential

Because who likes negative vibes? NO-ONE. If doing something or associating with someone negative is raining on your parade, cut all ties. There are so many long-term effects of negative angst and stress, which definitely do not help us achieve our goal of feeling on top of the world. If it’s non-essential, it’s non-progressive, and we all know that progression is the first step on the path to success

Create a vision for 10 years today

We all love the thought of a better title, bigger paycheck, but how can we think that we are going to get to that stage of our lives if we fail to even turn it into a vision? Even if you consider yourself to be a person who completely lacks confidence, I can assure you that you have enough self-worth to be able to get to the place you dream to be if you just picture yourself there. Work for it and it will come to you. Also remember that if you never do, it will never get done, and if you never ask, the answer will always be no

Short-term strategy and goals

Number 6 is one of my favourites. Creating a short-term strategy and goals doesn’t mean that you need to tell yourself that you need to lose 2 stone in 2 weeks or become the president of the United States within the next 8 years. An example is ‘by the end of the week I want to have gone to the gym at least 5 times, scheduled 2 blog posts, and applied for 3 jobs.’ Write lists. Buy a planner. Stick a piece of paper on the front of the fridge. Write on your hand. It works!!!!

Mentors who will inspire and support you

For as long as I remember I have always been keen to learn, whether that’s self-learning or being taught something new by someone or something else (like a book). Your mentor doesn’t have to be a professional, because you can also place your ‘mentor title’ on a member of your family, for example, at work I consider my manager to be my mentor, because she’s providing me with invaluable advice and guidance that I know I couldn’t get anywhere else. Whereas at home, my grandfather is my mentor, who provides me with support and gives me advice on what potential goals I could set for the benefit of my own future

Take risks

I don’t know if it’s the feeling of adrenaline or what, but risk-taking really makes me feel on top of the world. Taking risks or doing scary things can lead to finding meaning in life, and when you do this you start to accept yourself and embrace change. Taking risks will also allow you to live in the moment, and I personally think that this is what life is all about. ENJOYING.

Ignore competition

If you’re friendly, you’ll have no trouble with switching your negative perception of potential completion to a positive perception. People tend to forget that we can learn a lot from our competition, and just because they’re seen as our competition it doesn’t always mean that they’re going to achieve more than we will. Focus on YOU, and you’ll be on top of the world in no time

Don’t regret

Regret can cloud our minds and get in the way of letting us think that if we put our mind and abilities to something, we can get shit dooooooone. Mistakes are part of our nature, so if we make them, so what. There’s always room for improvement, isn’t there?! JFK once said that “those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” We don’t want to miss out on that, do we?

I didn’t think that coming home, I could be happy. I kept thinking ‘Swansea is shit’, ‘there’s no opportunity’, and ‘I’m never going to get to where I want to be in life’. I was wrong because now every morning when I drive to work I just think about what a person can achieve in a day, no matter where they are. If you achieve a lot in a day, just imagine what you can achieve in a month or a year.

If you have any tips for feeling on top of the world or want to give me more advice on what I can do to improve my mantra, let me know!

Rebecca x

MEXICAN FIESTA

It’s been SUCH a long time

I feel like every time I write a blog post I start it with how sorry I am for taking such a long hiatus… I used to consider myself a bit of a creative cat, but if I am that creative, how come I find myself struggling to find stuff to write about?!

Anyways, hi! I’m back! And you guessed it, it’s another holiday-based blog post 😉

On July 6th this year, I turned 21 years old. So like any teen about to hit the age that’s apparently the ‘key to the door’, I pondered and pondered over the answer to the “so what would you like for your birthday?” question.

As a teenager fortunate enough to have life essentials and some luxury items, I honestly just wanted to be with my family and friends (as long as there was some birthday cake)!

Though, being the holiday fanatic that I am, my mum decided to surprise me with a holiday to the Caribbean.

The wonderful woman chose Mexico as our dream location, since we went way back in 2001, which yes, means unfortunately enough I was too young to remember the best bits. The only memories I have are of the massive waves.

It was time to make new memories

Behold – PARADISE

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And this was before the storm.

When we arrived here: http://bit.ly/2FtumoA we were greeted warmly with glasses of champers. At this point, I couldn’t have been happier…

The sun was shining, and off we went to our hotel room. You know when you arrive at a hotel and you just get that feeling where you’re like ‘I’m going to love it here’? Well, it was exactly like that.

I and my mum spent our days mooching around the humongous place, basking in the Caribbean sunshine, drinking mimosas, breathing in the rainforest-y air. You get it.

Now it’s time for the piccies…

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THE BEACH THOUGH

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With Mexico being 10 hours behind the U.K, you can imagine the jet lag is pretty aggressive! But, being someone who tries to see the light in every situation, I would wake up around 6am every morning and walk down to the beach area just to catch that brisk morning air and glorious view.

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l felt so calm and at ease here…I never wanted to leave.

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Swimming was a dream come true. Honestly.

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Hammocks. HAMMOCKS. I might move here.

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Awww. I loved this day.

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On one of the days, we booked to swim with the dolphins. My mum kept on telling me how much I will enjoy it, and how much she loved it when her and my uncle did it the last time we were here.

You weren’t allowed to take pictures here, so this is the only one I managed to get. I definitely do not agree with them being kept captive in these environments, but the only thing that gave me peace of mind was that they are in still in the ocean rather than a swimming pool.

It was such a lovely day, bonding with my mum being my favourite part. Though I can’t say that I loved the prices for our pictures with the dolphins 😉

Since we are on the topic of animals… our balcony was surrounded by beautiful tall trees, which were constantly subject to the antics of the monkeys!

 

The rest of our time was spent immersing ourselves in Mexican culture, listening to the music of the locals –

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Floating around the hotel’s different restaurants,

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And a lot of reading and relaxing.

I can’t thank my mum enough for such an unforgettable birthday gift. Nobody dislikes receiving material items, but making memories through new experiences is priceless.

If you want to ask me anything about the hotel and its services or anything involving Mexico, please feel free!!

Rebecca x

GOTAWAY ON A GETAWAY, AGAIN

Long time no speak!

I was going to say that I haven’t written in a while. But I have! 10,000 essays, feature articles, and anything I can squeeze a description out of. All for my glorius final year of university. This means I have rejected my lonely old blog!

I have thrown myself into working as hard as I can so that I can graduate with an acceptable grade, but I need to come here to write more often! I bet you’re thinking, now why are you saying this? Well since you ask…

It is so easy to let stress consume you, and I find that one of the best ways to cope with stress is an opportunity to embrace relaxation. You got it. I went on holiday, again.

On the 5th of this month, myself, mum, niece, sister and her fiance (whom she got engaged to on Christmas Day, how cute is that?!, his parents aannnndd family freinds jetted off to the lovely and breezy canary island that is Lanzarote. It was my fourth time visiting this gorgeous place, but this time we decided to visit somewhere new. Whereas we usually go to Puerto del Carmen, this time we stayed in Costa Teguise.

If you live in the UK, then you know how unlucky we are with the weather on a regular, if not daily basis, but when it comes to Winter, well. The weather is on another level of ridiculousness. Therefore, even if the sun wasn’t scorching in Lanzarote, it was still an improvement from blustery Wales!

We stayed at the Grand Teguise Playa Hotel, and it was honestly beautiful. The hotel was huge inside, the pool was glorious, and look at the view! There is nothing I enjoy more than being close to the ocean. I sure made the most of it too!

The hotel boasted Amazonian vibes, and I completely and absolutely relished in this!! The draping vines and the trees, there was even a pond. With a turtle in! I didn’t think it could get any better than this, until I found that the bar revolves. The only way I can explain this is to tell you to picture a lazy river in one of those water parks abroad, it’s exactly like that! But slower. And you’re sat in comfy comfy chairs. It’s incredible.

Say hi to the hotel turtle! Forgive me for the bad quality pictures….


The decor was on another level. I felt like I was in Ikea!

The whole week was mesmerising, but what I enjoyed the most were the all inclusive drinks (so much love for a gin and tonic), and the beach. I could honestly live at the beach.

Just looooook at it!

Going on holiday is what I feel the most perfect thing to do before going back to university. Now I feel like my head is in the right place to get straight back into the hard work that third year requires! Myself and my house mates are already talking about where to go on holiday for the summer. I can’t believe that I’m graduating this year. Please help me get through this! Haha.

Lanzarote is a place that I highly recommend to teenagers, adolescents, and families. It’s a place for everyone. If you haven’t been, go! And if you have been, how was it?

Thanks for reading!

Rebecca x

 

A LOVELY SUNDAY IN BATH 

Everybody loves a productive Sunday. Well I know I do.

There’s nothing better than waking up on a Sunday morning and seeing the sun peep through your blinds or curtains. But it’s even better when it’s early. That crisp morning air, being able to think to yourself that you have the whole day to do whatever you want. LOVE IT. 

My weekend was fresh. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t go out on a Saturday night, and so I thought the time has come. This weekend I must stay in. And so I did, and I feel like you can relate when I say nothing beats waking up fresh on a Sunday morning.

You’re energetic, fresh, full of life and want to make the most of the last day of your weekend!

Being a third year means have a huuuugggeee workload. Therefore, I ensure that I get all of my work done during the week in order to have at least Saturday and Sunday off. Succeeding in this, I thought to myself, hmmmm, how shall I spend my Sunday?

I was up at 8am and my housemate Ellie came into my downstairs bedroom and asked, “shall we just go to Bath?”

I’ve never been to the city that’s famous for it’s incredible Georgian architecture, original Roman Baths and much more. So why not go on a Sunny Sunday, eh?

Hopping in my car at around 9:45am, me and Ellie had an upbeat and rather fast drive to Bath from Bristol.

As soon as we got there I started taking pictures! 

The skies were blue and the houses were stunning!

I can’t get over this house. I want it.

Ellie said that her mum Sue loves this particular bookshop in Bath, and said that we should go there first! “It’s something you’d love Bec.” She said.

I felt like such a tourist taking so many pictures, but this shop is a place I’d recommend to anyone. Please go there if you love reading!!!!!

                           There she is ^ 


Mr B’s emporium of reading delights is tucked away on John Street and it’s so cute. Inside they include little ‘Mr B thinks’ notes where you can read what Mr B thinks of certain books. Cool isn’t it.

I love absolutely everything about this beautiful bookshop, especially its quirky furniture!

After leaving Mr B’s, mooching around Jo Malone and smelling wayyyyy too many candles, we walked into The Fudge Kitchen on Church Street.

Ellie (the expert on Bath) said that they sometimes show people how they make the fudge, and that everyone who comes to Bath has to try this melt in your mouth deliciousness.

The customer service there is too excellent to explain, and as soon as I spoke to the two gentlemen there I knew I was going to end up buying some fudge! It’s £5 a slab, but I’m addicted to all things sweet and thought it would be rude not to. I ended up with dark chocolate and sea salt. I still have some left in my cupboard and I never want it to run out.

We carried on with our browsing, and as per usual, I carried on with my ubiquitous picture-taking.

Excuse the last picture, I am just super excited for Christmas!

I was sad to leave not having experienced the Roman Baths, but next time I go to Bath it will be the first thing I do.

If you’re ever wondering how to spend your Sunday, Bath is the perfect place to visit.

Thank you so much for Reading! Hope you’re having a wonderful week.

Rebecca x

GOING BACK TO GREECE 

Happy Sunday! Today is such a good day. The sun is shining and Frank Ocean has released his new album ‘Blond’, something I have waited for since what feels like FOREVER! (2012)

On the 4th of this month, I went back to Greece with my friends. We went to the country’s smallest island, Kos, and stayed in a cute, little place called Kardamena!

Being abroad is what truly makes me happy, and since myself and 9 of my friends had all jetted off on holiday, to not have fun was actually impossible!

August 10th was my favourite day of the holiday. Why? We had booked to go to one of the islands hotspots called ‘Bubble Beach’, or to the natives, ‘Paradise Beach’. Paying 10€ each, we were told to be at the harbour for 9:40AM, as our boat (the Pirate ship) was to leave at 10:00AM.

The journey lasted for about 40 minutes and breathing in the sea air and admiring the views of the island was truly lovely.

My friends couldn’t stop smiling!

In 35 degree heat, you really do feel like you’re catching a glimpse of paradise!

Could you get sick of the sight of that crystal clear water?

Hopping off our pirate ship and on to a small speed boat, we couldn’t stop saying how excited we were to experience Bubble Beach.

What a beautiful place!!!!
7/10 of us paid 4€ to go on this huge assault course that was placed in the ocean and we spent half of our day on there and the other half sunbathing, chatting and listening to the sounds of laughter and the sea calmly greeting the sand.

When it came to 3:30PM, it was our time to depart Paradise beach and head back to our hotel!

Kos is a beautiful, quiet island, where the staff are friendly and holiday-goers seem more than willing to relish in heart-warming chats.

I’m such a beach baby at heart, and so Kardamena beach was my favourite place to visit.

When I was here, I felt like I could switch off easily and didn’t have a worry in the world! Is anybody else like that when they’re at the beach?

I spent the days appreciating the amazing views and the Greek way of life! This included taking plenty of pictures, haha.

Kos have this burger restaurant called ‘Burger Box’, and I can put my hand on my heart and say that it was the best burger I have ever eaten!


Mmmmmmmm.

Greece is a breathtaking place that provides gorgeous coffee, mouthwatering dishes for dinner, stunning places for breakfast, and an impressive everything else.


I would happily go back there every year for the rest of my life!

Where have you been that you have loved or want to go back to? Would you go to Kos?

Thanks for reading! Have a gorgeous day, and give Frank Ocean’s new album ‘Blond’ a listen to 💛

Rebecca x